a comment

Below you will find (in its entirety) a comment recently posted to this blog by “dontplaydat”. Though it is heartfelt and well penned, we hope that the majority of our readers do not share the author’s sentiment. Its message is certainly not our intention for the blog or our year of nothing new. But, we’ll let you decided as we take solace in the old saying, “What people say about you is none of your business.”

~Stacey & Courtney

dontplaydat said...
"You know. Some of the posts here are really great, but lately, the more I read this blog, the more arrogant it seems to be. You have challenged yourselves not to buy anything new in 2010 and you gush about buying things second hand, and prosthelytize to the rest of us that we should do the same. While I am thrilled that you two have discovered a brave new world of thrift shops and yard sales, this is a way of life for hundreds of thousands of families across this country and nothing you are doing is remotely novel. It is only novel to you because up until this year you have been participating in good old fashioned American consumerism - something we are all brought up to believe in. I applaud the increased awareness about the pitfalls of capitalism that must have inspired this little project - but the hallmark wisdom lecturing that goes on in this blog is worse than saccharin; it's arrogant and makes you look silly. ESPECIALLY when there are so many posts on here where you end up getting what you need materially BECAUSE OTHER PEOPLE BUY IT FOR YOU. So you've really just come up with a way to mooch off other people and instead of calling it just that, you rationalize this contradictory little fact by saying it's the result of "secret energy" giving you what you need. The "secret energy" is your friends' time and money - get a clue. 
Another one of my favorites is buying a new dress for a wedding, and justifying it by saying that you agreed to be in the wedding long before the two of you conceived of this project. It must be really nice to have the money to just toss off playing poor when vanity calls. Tough titty that you decided to do the wedding before this project - buy a second hand dress OR (even MORE interesting and creative) MAKE ONE YOURSELF. THAT would have been cool - and interesting to read about. But. Nope. Buying used couches and furniture is so cute - but buying a second hand dress for a wedding is gross and making one is hard. 
There's nothing wrong with a blog that gives you a place to wonder out loud about where life is going, and to vent about nasty breakups, and the difficulties of life. Those things bring us closer together, because we know we are not the only ones going through these questions. But seriously, posts like this and several others, you two just come across like two spoiled little white girls who are staying out of the mall for a year - and lecturing us for crossing your personal picket line.”

The Dress

I cheated.

I bought a new dress.

It was for my cousin’s wedding.

A wedding that I committed to be in several months before we even conceived of the idea for our year of nothing new.

You could say that this dress was a totally premeditated purchase– that from the very beginning of this project I knew I’d be procuring this one new item.

I hope you can excuse this indiscretion.

But, as a wise friend once told me, “Sometimes it’s better to ask for forgiveness rather than permission.”

So, I humbly ask for your forgiveness.

(Oh, and it might help to add that the shoes I wore for the wedding were secondhand.)

~Stacey

Radiating What You Need

I'm finding that when I radiate what it is i need out of the world, I get it. Materially and emotionally. And its fascinating. It all goes along the ideas based in The Secret or other energy based theories that suggest if you think hard enough on something, it will happen.

Materially speaking, my flip flops and my yoga mat are completely worn out. I've been wanting to replace them, since they are items i use on a regular basis.

I find a yoga mat and flip flops gross things to buy second hand because of the sweat factor, yet I keep thinking about how much I "need" these items, maybe even a little obsessively. And you know what happens? My friend Kenny (who was tired of seeing me reattach my flip to the flop) bought me a nice new pair of flip flops and Stacey just gave me an awesome yoga mat that she'd bought a while back and not liked. I did not even ask them for these items, they just offered them to me. So I'm all set! Thank you Kenny and Stacey!

More importantly though, I've learned something from the flip flop and yoga mat offerings on an emotional level which is this:

I've still been carrying a great deal of anger from my breakup. But after thinking of all this, I had a moment when I thought...I don't want to feel like this. I don't want to carry this weight. So I decided not to...to just let it go. I even went to my ex-boyfriend's rock show and invited him to come to my book release party last weekend. And he came. And it felt good to support him and be supported by him regardless of all that has happened. People thought I was crazy to want him at my party and to go to his show, but I'm learning that in order to feel good in the world and settled in my skin, I need to tell the world what it is I need. And I need to be okay. And not angry. And I need to approach that need with confidence and a heck of a lot of love. Which is now my master plan.

I encourage all of you to look at what you need emotionally...what hurts you...what causes you grief...and see if there's an alternate way of approaching those feelings. There just might be a way to free your heart and get what it is you really need.

-Courtney

Thanks for the Help & the Clothes!

First, I want to thank Lauren, Courtney, Julie, and Jenn for their thoughtful responses to the question: Would buying new mats & blocks out of my business fund count as new purchases for this project?

The feedback was mixed, but I was able to pull from everyone’s ideas and here’s what I decided to do:

I loved Lauren’s tip about “encouraging the students to bring their own [mats/blocks]”, but as Julie and Jenn suggested eliminating them altogether just isn’t realistic or a good business move. So, I accepted Coutney’s challenge and looked for alternative options.

After some research I learned that Jade is now making a new yoga mat called Encore. These “new” mats are made from – are you ready… recycled yoga mats.

Only one hitch- the price is about 4X more than what I would normally spend on rental mats!

In the end (and after some quick accounting), I decided to buy only six mats instead of the twelve I’ll be replacing (hopefully encouraging more people to buy their own, but still having some available when needed). I also decided to wait on purchasing more blocks and will make do with what I have until next year.

Second, (and on a completely unrelated topic) I wanted to thank both Sally and Lee Anne for passing along their gently-used-but-in-perfectly-good-condition Lululemon yoga clothes to me. I’m not sure if they were trying to tell me something (like my old clothes were starting to smell from all of the hot yoga), but I’m delighted to have a few new additions to my yoga wardrobe.

I am continually amazed at the generosity and help available to me when I open myself up to it.

Thank You.

~Stacey

Asking for Help...Part Two

Look to the left and you'll see my adorable mother and brother who I love dearly. They take such good care of me and I want to give them both a shout out and a thank you.

The last thing I really wanted for my new place (did I mention that I've moved again??) was a router, so I could be wireless. The placement of the ethernet cord is inconveniently by the door and my desk is on the other side of the room and doesn't reach (and it's always good as a writer to have the flexibility to sit and write wherever you please.) So, I was looking at routers online and there were a number of them available used or refurbished. But when I called my brother to ask for his recommendations on what I should be looking for, he informed me that he thought that he and my mom had an extra one at home that they weren't using and I should ask about. I checked in with my mom, and she proceeded to tell me that this was true. I asked if I could have it and she packaged it up and sent it my way.

My mom thought it was great because it wasn't getting any use in the attic. She reminded me that its good to ask for help, something that I am learning to do more and more of in my stubborn independent way of thinking of things. She said that by asking for something, it was helping HER feel needed. Which is a pretty cool thing.

In general, I'm getting much better at asking for help. I've recently asked my friend Cory to help me record voice-overs on his fancy equipment for a performance piece I'm doing. I also asked him for help figuring out why the speakers on my computer weren't working (which he figured out in 2 minutes, and I'd already spent an hour trying to figure out). I've asked my friend Dominic to help me move a couch and hang lights outside. I've even found an editor who I've just met to help me edit a short I wrote. All of this is new territory, but I'm finding people WANT to help. And it feels good. Cause I'm a help-er to my friends. But I'm learning that it really is a cycle. We all need to ask and help each other.

And I'm happy to report that my refurbished iphone is treating me fabulously. :)

-Courtney

Yoga Mat/Block Dilemma... Please Help!

I’ve been teaching a donation based yoga class at the Union Project for the past three years and am happy to report that the class continues to grow! When I started the class, I invested in twelve rental mats and about twenty-five yoga blocks and have taken all of the necessary steps to keep them clean and in satisfactory condition. However, over the years the block supply has dwindled and the mats (despite regular washings) now have the permanent scent of sweaty gym socks.

This brings me to my question: Would buying new mats & blocks out of my business fund count as new purchases for this project?

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

~Stacey

Souvenirs

I recently returned from a week in Tulum, Mexico where I participated in an advanced yoga teacher training with Amazing Yoga. The trip and training were utterly fulfilling and a much needed refresher for my body, mind, & soul.

And since I’ve saved so much money this year (thanks to this project) I splurged by paying the extra cash needed to upgrade to a single room and treated myself to TWO massages… which were divine!

But, I digress – I’m not writing this post to brag about my trip or convince you to sign up for the next Amazing Yoga Teacher Training (although you should at least consider it, because it’s, well, amazing!) – I’m writing because of what I didn’t do while I was in Mexico…

I didn’t shop.

Not for myself. Not for Brian. Not for Courtney. Not even for my Mom.

I’m not sure about you, but usually when I travel I spend at lot of time and energy seeking out and bargaining for souvenirs. Mementos that remind me of my adventures and tokens to share with those I love. But this year, since I’m unable to purchase new items (and the idea of a “used souvenir” is extremely unappealing) I took myself out of the game.

No second looks at the tchotchkes in the airport, no haggling with street vendors, no frustration when I realize I can’t properly repack my bags for the flight home.

This process proved to be literally and figuratively freeing. I was able to enjoy my trip without the preoccupation of finding the perfect gift and with the time I saved I spent a few extra hours in the ocean.

And the best part: my suitcase closed without any problems.

I think I might just stick with the no souvenir policy after this year of nothing new comes to an end. (Sorry Mom!)

~Stacey